Wednesday, July 9, 2008

"Size 0" Syndrome

Nowadays a grotesque epidemic has struck the female population of our country. With the histrionic publicity of figure reduction of an almost megalomaniac Bollywood heroine, the “size 0” syndrome has spread like wild fire amongst the girls, across the country.

Girls and ladies across the country are busy making out time out of their busy schedule, which are mostly filled with verbiage sessions and beauty treatments, to rush to gymnasiums. Nowadays, the ladies are least pecuniarily concerned when it comes to shopping or maintaining their aphrodisiac figures.

Ladies’ gym is a curious place to visit. It manifests such a wide variety of curios that can put a connoisseur (who is ) visiting Louvre, to shame. If anyhow you happen to browse through a gym’s brochure, you will notice three prominent features mentioned there.

First one being the “Hall of Mirror”. This feature is just like the hall of mirror we usually see in entertainment parks, just that here it is used in a mendacious manner. If you are fat, the trainer will make you stand before a mirror that will emaciate your reflection.

Second feature is “Aerobics”. It happened so, at the advent of this “size 0” epidemic, few cognoscenti from this field met and discussed that if you are charging 200 to 500 bucks for something, it would be ignonimous to call it “Jumping and Punching”. So to make it mellificious and to make it the “in” thing of the haute coutre , they decided to call it “Aerobics”.

Third feature being “Stem Bath”. For taking steam bath you are required to sit in a room where steam will be emitted. Girls being credulous, believe that they will emerge with immaculated skin from that chamber, but once you are inside it, you get the actual feeling of Hitler’s gas chambers. This chamber gives an odious feeling of how the vegetables feel when we put them in a pressure cooker over a burning stove.

The gym is a place where you get to meet a variety of characters. You will meet solicitious girls who conjure a feeling of contrition at the thought of eating junk food. There are others who react in such a manner at e weight loss of less than quarter of a pound, that their weight reduction deserves a salvo. These ladies act in an omniscient manner conveying quixotic advices with slapstick alacrity and a dash of pleonasm.

The trainers at gym sleight at every other occasion and expertly use the art of equivocation for telling the opprobrious exercising ladies about the increase in their body weights.

If there happen to be a feminine plebiscite in our country, then one law I am sure is going to be enforced- right to go to gym whether or not its financially feasible.